Please Note That Smoking is Not Permitted on Any Part of This Station
The 11:30's been cancelled again
The 11:45's been moved to platform ten
We apologise for the delay to this service
We apologise if the station smells of piss

Please buy your ticket (though it won't be checked)
Please note the timetable is never correct
Overpriced drinks are at the rear of the train
We're afraid to announce the toilets aren't working again

I've spent half my life rotting away
On Birmingham New Street, day after day
All the money I've had to pay
To waste on this "service", it's not ok

The train is too full, you'll just have to stand
First class is empty, standard is rammed
Your reserved seat has not been reserved
If you're stupid enough to use us, this is what you deserve!

I've spent half my life rotting away
On Birmingham New Street, day after day
All the money I've had to pay
To waste on this "service", it's not ok

<< Writing